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Divorce: For Better or Bitter

February 22, 2011

Whether you were the person that initiated the divorce or was told by your spouse they no longer wanted to be married anymore, you have choices on how to live your life going forward.  You need to ask yourself, do you want to live in the past and continue to blame your former spouse or do you want to move on and focus on having a better life?

When you focus on the past, you tend to use a lot of your time and energy to try and change things you can’t control.  Were you able to change your former spouse during the marriage?  What makes you think you can change them now?  If too much time is spent blaming others and not taking responsibility you can become bitter. 

When you focus on the future, you take control of your life.  How much time are you thinking about writing the next chapter of your life?    Are you focused on positive things?  Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do about it. If you take responsibility of what you own, stop blaming someone else, and move on, your life can be better.

If you are going through a divorce or are already divorced, will your life be better or bitter? 

The choice is up to you.

The following poem is one of my favorites:

Attitude

by Charles Swindoll [wikipedia.org]

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company … a church … a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable.

The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude … I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you … we are in charge of our Attitudes.

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