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Divorcing Parents: What do your kids want you to know?

June 2, 2010

Have you ever wondered what you kids are thinking  about your divorce and how you can help them?   Following is a piece from one of  Isolini Ricci’s books that will help to shed light on what your kids want you to know.



By Isolina Ricci, Ph.D.

Exerpted from “Divorce from the Kids’ Point of View”

NCFR Report, December 2007

1. We need to know you love us, will protect us, and won’t leave us

2. Help us get organized for going back and forth. Be patient

3. Listen to our questions and opinions even if you don’t agree

4. Accept that we need a lot of time to adjust, even when we don’t show it.

5. Keep you conflicts and dislike of each other out of sight and earshot.

6. Keep us out of the middle of your problems. We are just kids.

7. Don’t ask us to spy, pass messages, or listen to you put-down the other parent.

8. Give us a chance to talk with kids who are also going through this.

9. Help us express our feelings and learn how to manage them.

10. Give us space and time to grieve the loss of our old life at our own pace.

11. Confide in people your own age. We are not your substitute spouse.

12. Tell us we aren’t at fault for your problems. We can’t fix them either.

13. Show us its OK to love and want to be with both of you

If you need help with your divorce or after your divorce contact Jeff Johnson at Johnson Mediation.   Jeff can help you navigate the divorce process and provide a safe environment to come up with solutions to issues parents struggle with.  Jeff is a client centered mediator that truly cares about you and your children.   Call Jeff today…. (952) 401-7599.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Thomass Barris permalink
    July 11, 2010 9:26 pm

    What you have is very good reading. I usually read marriage/relationship matter at

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